(When with much less effort.. you can be a successful loser! !)

NOTE: If you desire your personal effort to be a 'complete bust', to insure "no confidence, to effect a positive "waste of time" and to earn you "long remembrance . put these methods into practice............ WE GUARANTEE RESULTS !

1. Start talking on your way up to the lectern.... talk fast ... don't bother with introductions ... they don't really care who you are.

2. Hold a sheet of paper with a shaky, trembling hand... show 'em you're nervous and inexperienced... They'll love you for it!

3. Don't bother rehearsing it's all in the book, you can look it up when you get there... and take whatever time you need.

4. Don't look directly at the audience... look over their heads, at notes, at the ceiling, at the floor, etc. You don't have to be friendly... they need you -- you don't need them.

5. Read your presentation out loud... people respect "the printed word" and are more confident when they're getting it direct from "the book".

6. Keep talking when you're up front... it s not important what you say... BE WORDY: "What I mean is", "On the other hand "umm', By the same token', "I mean", "ya know", "uhhhhh", etc. Clear your throat as often as possible. If you pause, you're obviously lost !

7. Ignore what the book (obviously written by some egg head) says. If you're stuck with some complex gobble-de-gook, just conduct a general discussion on their personal problems. It uses up the time beautifully!

8. Don't worry about filmstrips, projectors, etc., until you get there. They're only students; they don't know about learning materials and it's apparent they have nowhere else to go!

Last Updated 94/09/13