TEN COMMANDMENTS OF GOOD LISTENING

  1. STOP TALKING! You cannot listen if you are talking. Polonius (Hamlet) said: "Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice."
  2. PUT THE TALKER AT EASE. Help him feel that he is free to talk. This is often called a 'permissive environment'.
  3. SHOW HIM THAT YOU WANT TO LISTEN. Look and act interested. Do not ignore him while he talks. Listen to understand rather than reply.
  4. REMOVE DISTRACTIONS. Don't doodle, tap or shuffle papers. Will it be quieter if you close the door?
  5. EMPATHIZE WITH HIM. Try to put yourself in his place so that you can see his point of view.
  6. BE PATIENT. Allow plenty of time. Do not interrupt him. Don't start for the door, or walk away.
  7. HOLD YOUR TEMPER. An angry man gets the wrong meaning from words. 'He who angers you, conquers you'.
  8. GO EASY ON ARGUMENT AND CRITICISM. This puts him on the defensive. He may 'clam up' or get angry. Don't argue. If you win, you lose.
  9. ASK QUESTIONS. This encourages him and shows that you are listening. It helps develop points further.
  10. STOP TALKING! This is the first and last commandment because all others depend on it. You just can't do a good listening job while you are talking.

....GOD GAVE MAN TWO EARS BUT ONLY ONE TONGUE. WHICH IS A GENTLE HINT THAT HE SHOULD LISTEN MORE THAN HE TALKS.......