CS5014 Fall 2005 Assignment 1 Sample Solution Part I. 1. When the general meaning of this passage is considered, we see that it has an effect different from the rest of this chapter. Avoid passive voice. [Minor change:] Considering the general meaning of this passage, we see that it has an effect different from the rest of this chapter. [Bigger change:] The general meaning of this passage gives it an effect different from the rest of the chapter. [or:] This passage has a different effect from the rest of the chapter. 2. The surveying team arrived at the site at 10:00 a.m. First, a baseline was measured, and then random plots were designed, and finally, the standard sampling was done. Avoid passive voice. [Minor change:] The surveying team arrived at the site at 10:00 a.m. First, they measured a baseline, then they designed random plots, and finally they did standard sampling. [Better:] The surveying team arrived at the site at 10:00 a.m. They measured a baseline, then designed random plots, and finally did standard sampling. 3. The imagery in this poem is used to create a sense of despair, and this sense is reinforced by the words which have been chosen by the author. This poem uses imagery to create a sense of despair, and the author reinforces this sense by the words chosen. [Or:] This poem uses imagery to create a sense of despair, which the author reinforces through his choice of words. 4. The conflict arises for three reasons: first, Brick's drinking, secondly, because Maggie is childless, and also that Gooper and Brick hate each other. Fix parallelism. The conflict arises for three reasons: first, Brick's drinking, second, Maggie's childlessness, and third, Gooper and Brick's hatred for each other. [Could also strike the "first, second, third"] 5. The decision to purchase the ferries was both financially irresponsible and it was an engineering fiasco. Fix parallelism. The decision to purchase the ferries was both financially irresponsible and an engineering fiasco. 6. Put the lamp on the table, the book in the shelf, and then take this tea cup to the sink in the kitchen. Fix parallelism. Put the lamp on the table, the book on the shelf, and this tea cup in the kitchen sink. 7. Never waste extra letters by putting them upon pages where they are not needed. Never waste extra letters by putting them on pages where they are not needed. [The corrected sentence is its own explanation. :)] 8. My graphically-oriented interface is very pretty. a) Never use hyphen after -ly words. b) "Very" is a waste word here. My graphically oriented interface is pretty. 9. The mathematics is interesting. The mathematics is interesting. [No correction needed. However, there might be some dispute as to whether "mathematics" is singular or plural. Note that "Mathematics is interesting" means something different. "The mathematics" refers to the particular equations, etc., appearing in a document or argument. "Mathematics" refers to the field of mathematics in general.] 10. I utilized profiling tools to make sure we fully utilized the computer's memory. I used profiling tools to make sure we fully utilized the computer's memory. [Note that most uses of "utilize" are inappropriate, but the second one in this sentence is correct. That is, the computer's memory is a resource that would otherwise be wasted.] 11. Please remain seated, with your seatbelt fastened, until the airplane has come to a full and complete stop; when you deplane from the airplane, be sure to take with you all your personal belongings. Please remain seated, with your seatbelt fastened, until the airplane has come to a complete stop. When you deplane, take all your belongings with you. [How can a complete stop not be full? What can you deplane from other than an airplane? Does it matter whether your belongings are personal or not? "be sure to" is unnecessary here, though putting "please" in its place would be polite in this case. Putting "with you" at the end helps to reduce how much the reader has to stack up before unpacking the sentence. Never use a semicolon when a period will work.] 12. The ball bounced off the pavement and through the window; it was cracked already. What was cracked? The ball bounced off the pavement and through the window; the window was cracked already. [Would be even better to replace ; with .] [or:] The ball bounced off the pavement and through the cracked window. [or:] The cracked ball bounced off the pavement and through the window. 13. One can easily contract a cold if one shakes hands with everyone within reach. Correct passive voice. You can easily contract a cold if you shake hands with everyone within reach. [Or:] You can easily contract a cold by shaking hands with everyone within reach. 14. The writer sharpened his pencil. [You need not modify this sentence. A more interesting sentence for me to have given you would have been "A good writer always keeps his pencil sharp." This would have raised the issue of what to do with gender in the general sense. In the sentence I gave you, the gender probably is certain, since it seems to imply we know the writer in question (and thus the gender). However, everyone needs to work out for themselves what to do with generic issues of gender. Traditionally, male gender has been used for the generic. Some prefer to use female gender or randomly select one to give some balance. Some adopt the awkward construction of "his or her" or the hidious syntax of "his/her". Note that "its" (neutral/neutered gender) is never considered correct as a generic for generalities whose individuals clearly do have non-neutral gender. Some like to use "their", but many writing experts highly frown upon this because it is officially plural (until such time as the weight of public opinion should chage that). So far, modern English writers and grammarians do not seem to have reached a satisfactory conclusion to this issue.] 15. In section 3 we will prove than all horses are grey. In Section 3 we prove that all horses are grey. [Section 3 is a proper name and should be capitalized. Note the typo of "than" for "that". Section 3 does what it does, there should not be future tense.] Part II. For the following sentences, fill in the blank with the best choice of "a," "an," "the," or leave it empty. Briefly explain why you chose your answer. 1. I attend _ Virginia Tech. [No article. Virginia Tech is a name.] 2. I visited _the_ University of Virginia. [University is viewed here as a generic, rather than as a name. This is the "technically correct" answer. However, another valid interpretation is to view University of Virginia as a proper name, and as such takes no article.] 3. I went to _a_ movie. [Taken on its own with no additional context, this sentence refers to just some movie, not a particular movie. In the context of additional knowledge, "the" might be appropriate.] 4. I saw _the_ latest Star Wars movie. [Here we refer to a particlur instance, so it is "the", not "a". 5. _ Programs are hard to write. [Without additional context we are not referring to any particular programs, so there is no article. Conceivably, this might be placed in the context where there are specific programs at issue, in which case "the" would be appropriate.] Part III. Rewrite the passage. [REVISED: A light rewrite] Modernism, a common term in discussions of modern culture, is difficult to define since so many people have offered different definitions. Many writers use the term to refer to new styles in painting, music, art, poetry, and prose in the last hundred and forty years or so (from about 1850 to 1995). But what exactly does the term mean? After searching through a number of cultural dictionaries it is obvious that the question cannot be answered easily. Any such answer will depend upon how the term has been defined by a particular writer in a particular discipline. Modernism to a historian of European literature, for example, may well mean -- in fact probably will mean -- something significantly different than what Modernism means to a historian of music. If we look at the history of English poetry, we can conclude that there is a fair amount of agreement that the Modernist movement in poetry began in England early in the century shortly before World War One. Then a new movement was started by a small group of poets in London. This new group, which called its artistic style Imagism, sought to reform the tradition of writing poetry in English. Among its members was the young, brash, talented American Ezra Pound, who quickly emerged as the leading public spokesperson for the group. Pound published a number of manifestos urging that certain new principles should be followed by all good poets. His recommendations for the new poetry included new rhythms, free verse, and a concentration on concise imagery. [Try #2. Here I'm more aggressive about cutting out unnecessary words.] Modernism, a common term in discussions of modern culture, is difficult to define since so many people have offered different definitions. Many writers in the last hundred and forty years have used the term to refer to new styles in painting, music, art, poetry, and prose. But what exactly does the term mean? After searching through a number of cultural dictionaries it is obvious that the question cannot be answered easily. Any such answer will depend upon how the term has been defined by a particular writer in a particular discipline. Modernism to a historian of European literature may well mean something significantly different than what Modernism means to a historian of music. If we look at the history of English poetry, we can conclude that there is agreement that the Modernist movement in poetry began in England shortly before World War I. Then a new movement was started by a small group of poets in London. This new group, which called its artistic style Imagism, sought to reform the tradition of writing poetry in English. Among its members was the young, brash, talented American Ezra Pound, who quickly emerged as the leading spokesperson for the group. Pound published a number of manifestos urging that certain new principles be followed by all good poets. His recommendations for the new poetry included new rhythms, free verse, and a concentration on concise imagery. [Try #3. This preserves all of the information in the original.] Modernism, a common term in discussions of modern culture, is difficult to define. Many writers in the last hundred and forty years have used the term to refer to new styles in painting, music, art, poetry, and prose. But what exactly does the term mean? The answer will depend upon how the term has been defined by a particular writer in a particular discipline. The Modernist movement in poetry began in England shortly before World War I. Then a new movement was started by a small group of poets in London. This new group, which called its artistic style Imagism, sought to reform the tradition of writing poetry in English. Among its members was the young, brash, talented American Ezra Pound, who quickly emerged as the leading spokesperson for the group. Pound published a number of manifestos urging that certain new principles be followed by all good poets. His recommendations for the new poetry included new rhythms, free verse, and a concentration on concise imagery. [Stripped down to this, we discover that the first paragraph really does not convey much information, and probably should be skipped entirely. You will notice that I didn't change the second paragraph all that much from the original. That's probably because it actually has something to say, so it was better written to begin with. In your own writing, consider if a hard-to-write section is hard to write for some deeper reason.]