Church Bulletin Bloopers
or
Make Sure You Proof Read Your Work!
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical
accomplishment.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid
of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your
husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring
your
own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a
fun time.
Wise Up, O Men of God" Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say
"hell"
to someone who doesn't care much about you.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight:
Searching for Jesus
Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
help they can get.
The agenda was adopted...the minutes were approved... the financial
secretary gave a grief report.
Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of
Pastor Jack's sermons.
The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks
of the entire church.
Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine.
Name: Bertha Belch. Announcement: Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch
all
the way from Africa".
Announcement in a church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting
Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer conference
includes meals".
Last updated 99/10/25
From "Internet Jokes", unattributed.